Today I am reflecting on "one of those days" where nothing seems to go quite right. It isn't today, today has been fine, but I've had a couple of those in the last month worth reflect on. I won't go into two many details, but let's just say that I came pretty close to losing my job one day, and I didn't exactly speak with care to my lovely fiance and upset her quite a bit another. Granted, those weren't the only things that "went wrong" those days, or they wouldn't be "one of those days," but let's just focus on the big ones, shall we? What makes those days so hard? Why does it feel like the world is against us? Why do we end up failing so badly when we try so hard? Well, perhaps this is connected and perhaps not, but I was listening to pastor Tim Keller this morning and he had some convicting words to say.
1) We should be angry
2) We do not change through willpower, we change through worship
We should be angry? Yes. Paul says so. The first half of Eph. 4:26. "Be angry and do not sin." Now, if you really wanna hear all about what Tim says about this, listen to his sermon "Forgiving and Forgiven." It's on Itunes, shouldn't be hard to find. What hit ME so hard about this was that I wasn't admitting that I was getting angry about things. I'd mask my anger in "disappointment" or "depression" or basically anything but "rage." Eventually, like what happened with Bethany, something that isn't really a big deal will make it all spill out of me at once, and I will certainly sin in my anger. God forgive me. But, as Tim points out, if I can focus my anger on what is not glorifying God in the situation and allow my anger to be righteous anger over injustice, then perhaps that can be avoided. But first I need to admit I have a problem: an anger problem.
Boy that could be a whole post by itself, but let me continue. This has so much to do with #2 that I'm going to go right there. We do not change throughout willpower, we change through worship. How many times have we tried, and tried, and tried to change something about our lives? I'm still trying to change 15 or so major things about my life that I know aren't good (no I'm not going to list them for you). We, at least I, constantly fail and wonder if I'm just not trying hard enough, so I give up for a few days and try again. NO! We do not change through willpower just like we did not come to Jesus Christ through willpower. We are not a moralistic machine within the cogs of organized religion we are citizens of a heavenly kingdom living in response to the light of the son emanating from the cross!!! Thus, it is only by responding to him in worship in every moment, in every area of our lives, that we can hope to change anything.
Well, that's probably enough for one post. Think about that. Worship God in this moment. What else are you doing with your time? Wasting it reading the blog post of a silly 24 year old pastor wannabe? You should talk to Jesus about what's going on, not read about what's going on in my life, sillies.